Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
