Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize