i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
