im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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