Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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