The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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