Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
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2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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