The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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