Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize