I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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