Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
