I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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