Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize