I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
