I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
