i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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