After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
