Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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