so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
