Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
