That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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