i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
