ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
