He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize