thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
