I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
