her vagine was all disorganized.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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