ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you would pick up someone in the library
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
