I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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