We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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