yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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