I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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