$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
