mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
