DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
