if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
