Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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