Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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