She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
