you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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