That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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