So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
