i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
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He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
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Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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