508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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