just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
