it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Randomize
