I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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