Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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