I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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