She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
