I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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