the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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