If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
