Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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