It's just like the Real World with babies
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
