How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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