I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
