youre lurking in front of me
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
