4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
nutella sex= disaster
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
