Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
